Monday, January 30, 2012

No time and.. nothing really new.

I don't have a lot of time to tell stories or share pictures of anything. But it's not much of a shame. Nothing new has happened AT ALL. My own personal roommate moved out, one of them got engaged, one is going to school now so she's never here, and the other one I just.. eh. Plus the "old" group I would hang out with, has completely broken apart and I honestly haven't talked or seem them in some time. College definitely is a lot different with the new semester change. It's probably hit it's low point right now, but when you go down theres no where but up, right?

So basically I found some poems I wrote not to long ago, and figured I'd share them for this small little post. Enjoy.

So for this first poem, I actually wrote it back in my senior year of high school but we were given a photograph or painting and we had to write a poem about the picture, but not actually based off the picture itself. It could have nothing to do with the picture at all, but just the concept of it, if that makes any sense at all. So.. i got a picture of an old man driving an old race car and going pretty fast. So... this was what I wrote.

Running in a marathon
Faster and Faster
With this open road
And a whole lot of speed
To be where I am

To fly in a race car
To race in a jet
All I need is this open world
To find where I will go

How fast will I go?
All I need is an open road
And a whole lot of speed
To see where I will go

So, not really my style, I do more spoken word because... there really are no rules, which is what I love. But it's a poem and an art none the less.

The next is actually an assignment I had here in college in my English 2010 class at the beginning of the year. The assignment was to write a Villanelle poem. Which is the classic aba aba aba aba and ends with abaa. 'Nuff said.

Walking silently and still into the light
Leaving this world and it's cruel way of life
Knowing now, that everything is alright

Feeling a deep sense of fright
Yet, having confidence deep inside my heart
Walking silently and still into the light

Striving every day, I've finally won the fight
Winning against the world and its cruel way of living
Knowing now, that everything is alright

Moments ago, saying my final good-night
To the loved ones around me, helping me through this hard time
Walking silently and still into the light

Seeing everything now as simple as black and white
Pulling through the battle between good and evil
Knowing now, that everything is alright

Slowly but surely taking my final fight
Smiling wide for all to finally see
Walking silently and still into the light
Knowing now, that everything is alright.

Once again. not quite my style and honestly I believe it sounds like something a Jr. High student, just trying to pass english class, wrote the night before. But hey, I got an 'A' and that's the great thing right? Plus it adds a lot to my portfolio :)

Conceit poem, another assignment.

I am an old pair of shoes
I wonder about the open world
I see the journey ahead
I want to someday escape
I am an old pair of shoes

I pretend to stand strong even when I'm falling apart
I feel the mud and snow of the world breaking me down
I touch the earth and how it's my advantage
I worry that I will be thrown away and forgotten
I am an old pair of shoes

I understand when to run and when to stroll through life
I say to take an adventure and never look back
I dream to become one with the earth
I try and accomplish my goals
I hope to never stop moving
I am an old pair of shoes

....Eh. I have to admit, typing some of this up made me cringe and think maybe i should've done this... or maybe this... But. When i'm given an assignment and have to write about something specific, I don't really... "shine" I suppose. I like the fact that anything that comes to mind or heart, I write about it, and it's something I'm actually quite happy with.

Well! that's all I've got right now, and i was in a bit of a writers block for a while, but I feel it slowly coming back in place. Wish me luck!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Year, New Adventures

It's been awhile!

Well to start off: Happy New Year! 2012!

Right now I'm sitting eating some Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes, that my dad so thoughtfully made, and it is 9:07 am. 25 hours since my last taste of sleep. SO. Just some key advice i've learned from this.
1. Sunrise is amazing. Especially at the end of a year that held some great great memories, and honestly, some memories that I hope to never experience again.
2. Never. NEVER. NE.VER. take sleep for granted. It's such a great thing.
3. I might be insane. My all night buddy (my friend Jenny) was eating with me and she made a turtle out of one of her pancakes. I laughed for a good 30 mins, tears streaming down my face. Then my brother, Mclayne, made fun of me with an impression, and that had me AND Jenny laughing for another 35. I might have abs now from so many split sides.
4. I feel like I've been running all day and night. My legs are dead.
5. The experience was great, but unless I absolutely need to, I won't do it again.

What's interesting, i've stayed awake for longer amounts of time, I've even stayed up for 3 days straight before I felt anything like I do now. But yesterday was just run run run. I was exhausted, but by the time I got home, it seemed pointless to sleep, since the new day was already a couple hours away. Here's a little time line about my day. (Not 100% accurate. But I do remember checking the time once in a while.)

8:00 am- Dad wakes me up by putting my dogs squeak toy right in my ear to try and get my dog to attack me. I was not happy.

8:15-10:00 am- Try with all my might to fall back asleep. But nothing. Can't give up. End up laying in bed staring at the ceiling.

10:30 am- So close. But phone goes off. Ignore it. But then when I slowly shut my eyes again...

11:00 am- Mother dear jumps on my bed and tells me to wake up.

11:15 am- Look at phone. My best friends boyfriend has texted me 5 times. He wants to go to Cafe Rio because he's starving and my best friend is probably still asleep. He also adds a picture of his "hungry face."

11:30 am- After much motivation from Marcus (the boyfriend) I finally get up, get dressed, and drive to pick him up to go get some Cafe Rio.

12:00-1:00 pm- Arrive at Cafe Rio, eat, and just talk about whatever. Nothing too big. Just chit chat. We decide to leave, because I have work at 2.

1:10 pm- Arrive at Papa Murphy's, the great place both of us work at. Since I don't work until 2 and he doesn't work until 3, we decide to take my longboards from my trunk, and ride them in the store with different poses to entertain morning prep crew. Just as we're about to do it, the owners walk in and our plan is shot down. So since we're not allowed to be in the store unless we're actually working..

1:15-1:55 pm- We longboard and skateboard in the parking lot of Papa Murphy's, trying not to get caught by the owners.

2:00- about 7:15 pm- Work, work, work. By this time, we sold about 500+ pizzas. It was a great day at work though, I sort of like the busy days because you work as a team with the crew and time seems to go by a lot faster.

7:20-10:40 pm- Since Marcus got off work either than me, he waited around because I was his ride. So once I got off, we decided to call my best friend/his girlfriend, Alex to see what she was up to. Keep in mind, the ENTIRE night was total improvisation. No plans, no idea what the night had in store. So she tells us she's eating with her family, but afterwards we can figure out what to do. At the same time, my ex and good friend, Dan texts me asking me what i'm doing, along with his good friend Bryce. So. On my way to get Dan and Bryce, we pass a street that I know has a "geocache" on it. (For those who don't know what this is, it's basically a world wide treasure hunt. They're hidden all over the world and when you find you, you sign a little paper with your name and date and if you take something out of the box, you have to put something back in.) So I do a huge U-turn, scaring Marcus, and tell him to just trust me. We park somewhat far from the actual "geocache" because it's on a curved, dangerous, hill and parking near it would be asking for a car accident. So I jump out of the car, and start racing to the top of the hill, Marcus following behind very confused. I find it and explain to Marcus what it is. He thought it was so cool, he wanted to find another. So we signed our names, and took out a King of Clubs card that's very beaten up. We signed the card with the date, and now it's on the ceiling of my car with thumbtacks. To make this story as short as possible, we found another one and all it had was a piece of gum. So we didn't take anything but we did put a dollar inside. By that time, Alex texted saying she was finished eating with her family. So I went and got alex THEN I went and got Dan and Bryce. So... now what, right? It's about 9:30 ish, 10 ish by now. So, I decide to find a flower and visit the grave of a student in our graduating class, that died from a car accident. After we visit her grave, we also visit Dan's grandfathers grave, wishing both of them a very happy new year. By the time we got in the car, I had the King card on my ceiling car and realized I needed something for everyone to sign, but I couldn't use the card because that was more of me and Marcus's doing. So. We went back to the second "geocache", had them sign the paper, took BACK the dollar, we all signed the dollar, and now that dollar is on my car ceiling. Finally by that time, we decided to go to my house to wait for the ball to drop in New York City.

10:40 pm- Arrive at my home. Play with my dog. Play the piano. Two more girl friends, Kellie and Xanthea (Zan-thea), arrive to watch the ball drop with us. I get 7 of my moms crystal cups that she uses only for special events, like Thanksgiving, and I fill them with some sparkling cider I found in the fridge, and put them in the middle of my coffee table. At about 2 mins to midnight, we grabbed our glasses and counted down till the new year.

12:00 am - I kissed my friend Xanthea on the cheek, then kissed my dog on the head. Marcus and Alex had their midnight kiss. Everyone else was just kinda... well... awkward haha. But after finished our cider, I quickly washed the cups and put them away, and we decided to go to a party we knew about just for some free food.

12:15 am- Arrive at the party. That's where I run into my friend Jenny and a couple other people I know pretty well. It was a great huge party, lots of people, but let's just say a lot of them where people I was happy to say goodbye to at graduation. Well, our small little group stayed there for about 10 mins or so and then left pretty quickly.

12:30- 2:00 am-Decide to go to Village Inn. Sort of random, but i'm up for anything. I realize that we're there to meet other people. And some of those people are the people at the party I especially was so happy to say goodbye to at graduation. But I sat at one end of the table and they sat at another.

2:05 am- Go back to my house. Kellie leaves in her car and so does Xanthea, as for everyone else, I'm their ride. So I get everyone else home but don't get back home myself until about...

2:50 am- I go downstairs and my brother is asleep. He tells me Jenny is coming over to sleepover. I talk to my mom a little bit and finally Jenny showed up around...

4:00 am- Jenny wants to talk but I want to go to bed. I lay in bed for about 10 mins, realize I'm not tired at all, go back downstairs and convince Jenny to have an all nighter with me. Jenny lasts until about...

7:52 am- Exact time. Because Jenny fell asleep right at the crack of dawn and I looked at the time. So I took a shower. And here I am. Ready to face the day and dare my body to live through the day.

Well, for now that's all I have time for. But I will post some new poems and writings anddd more about my christmas vacation back home.

Happy New Years!
Happy Late Christmas!

Sunday, December 11, 2011


I've been soooo busy lately with finals. Monday and Wednesday are my only days I have the tests, but when most of them are 70% of my grade, I panic a bit. But hey, what happens happens right? I just keep trying to remember that.

So I actually wrote something new earlier this month.
It just came randomly, it was pretty awesome. It was late at night and I looked out the window towards my neighbors house and wrote this little number in 5 minutes.

"The house across the street is dark and empty.
It strikes a certain kind of fear into my heart
But I do not know why.
Possibly an old childhood nightmare;
Shaken’ from slumber, screaming for comfort
From the warm heart of my mother.
Or maybe it was an adventure,
The adventures we would go on together.
The fear of letting each other
Open the doors into our dark and empty hearts.
When I finally let you inside,
I let the lights brighten.
My home, my heart, lit so bright, you could see me shine.
Until that night,
The night you told me “no more”.
Letting the fire in the lamp burn low.
My heart became so dark and so empty
I could hear the echoing scream of my bruised soul.
Maybe, just maybe,
My dark and empty heart
Strikes a certain kind of fear into my soul
Now, I know why."

I'm not very happy with the ending and I'm still kinda stuck on it, but i've had my mind on other things lately, focusing on the last couple lines of a poem is the least of my worries.

So just some stuff that have happened in my college life, I have pics so I'll just post them and what's in them.

So me and my roommates when to a Masquerade Ball either last week or a couple weeks ago. I can't remember. It was pretty great! The decorations were awesome and dressing up was a lot of fun, but I spent more time with the chocolate fountain than I did on the dance floor.

One of my best friends got home the other day, after being away for 2 years! It was great to see him again and hopefully we're both not to old for more fun and crazy adventures like we used to do in the past.

Well that's all I got for now, wish me luck on finals! Hopefully when it's all over i'll be able to post more and not wait a whole month! ish! It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Right Back Where I started

"It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is you."- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

If you have not seen that movie, "Benjamin Button", I strongly suggest it. Its pretty long but it's worth it, lots of good quotes and life inspirations.

Well here I am, home town Bountiful for the holidays. In some ways it's good to be back but a lot has changed. The other day, my old job called in wondering if I could work. Well more money for me, so I said yes. Many of my co-workers were gone by now, and the ones that remain, are very different in both good and bad ways. One of my really good friends that would b
e a complete moron with me, acted like she didn't know me. It hurt, but h
ey people change. But then I saw that Benjamin Button quote, and it's very true. I've changed a lot myself. I feel more confident and I can actually drive somewhere else besides Bountiful without freaking out. Small, but I have changed, hopefully for the better.

So this holiday "weekend" has been pretty great so far. Last night I stayed at a friends house until about 2, then afterwards I went for a small drive down "memory lane." It was pretty cool, since it was so late/early, not many where out so I felt like I had the entire city to myself. I drove to the top of the mountain ("make out point") and just looked at the city. It was great, I even found a few lovely wild dandy lions. So I picked a couple, and took them to the grave of Porsha, a great friend of mine that died in a car accident in high school. It was a nice little late night drive and I loved it.

Tonight I got to spend sometime with some of the closest friends i've had since I was little. One of them, it's a love hate relationship, but we all have em, and we all love em :)

You see? You see that man I'm sitting with? Yes he ruined the picture. Terrible. Just terrible. But thank goodness we were at Coffee Garden or I would of just killed him right there.
Mmmmm I love me some Chai. Good tea this is, delicious. Tastes like candy canes at christmas
This is the Coffee Garden. MMhm. Love it love it love it love it.

Well... that's all I have for today but HAPPY THANKSGIVING! eat lots and get fat, ya'll!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Been A While.

It's been a tad busier than usual. Since 11/11 I've been pretty busy with homework and just enjoying the college life. Well, Saturday morning I drove back home so that later that night I could go to a place called Comedy Sportz with the crew. IT WAS HILARIOUS! I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Comedy Sportz is an improv comedy show. 2 of the the men where HILARIOUS! Everything that came out of their mouths had my sides splitting. 2 others had great jokes here and there, but still had me laughing pretty good. The other 2 just needed help with their jokes, but cheers to them for trying, ya?

This is all of us at Comedy Sportz. Super fun.

So for a while now i've been working on this 15 page paper that I have due on Friday. AH! So stressful, i've never written a paper this long before IN MY LIF
E! It made me laugh because this 40 year old guy in my math class was complaining about having to write a 5 page paper. IF YOU ONLY KN
EW! Kills me. Well yesterday was the PERFECT relief. After raking leaves for an FHE activity, Me, Hailey and Zach decided to take a 5 hour energy drink. From past experiences, this is bad news. Sure it can really get you going for work, in fact i'v
e taken it for work and it's been a great help, but once you get in the mind set of ENERGY! you do things you might later regret. So since it wasn't the first time taking the drink, I wasn't to ba
d, but Hailey was OFF THE WALLS!

So this is just us quickly chugging the small drink down. For anyone who's had a 5 hour energy before, it's not exactly the best tasting thing in the world.

Within minutes, this was us on the couches. Obviously didn't take to long to kick in.

Hailey was probably the most energetic of all of us. As you can see, she was a little hard to control when things started to dim down. Poor Zach right?

So earlier today, we got really bored. And we remembered that we had an extra mattress (my mattress because I replaced the brick with my super comfy one.) and we decided to do this....

and this...
So all in all, after a good failed attempt at "surfing" down the stairs and a couple awkward moments on the elevator with strangers in the apartment building, it all ended in a great laugh and of course, great college memories! That's what it's all about right? Not education. HA!

Saturday, November 12, 2011


Well yesterday was 11/11/11. Big deal, ya? Well I went to the big grand opening of the H&M store, lunch at Cheesecake Factory, but I waited all day for the 11/11/11 11:11. And guess what? I was in a movie at the time, fell asleep, and when my friend bumped me awake, I quickly looked at the time and it was... 11:13 pm. AGH! So close! I totally missed it!
So here's just a couple pics from yesterday:

This is the grand opening of H&M at the Fashion Place Mall. It was INSANE! It was black friday on steroids. The store opened at noon and I got there right at 11:58. It reminded me of New Years eve when everyone screamed "5...4...3...2...1!" It was so fun to be there and just experience it. I didn't get to go inside though, the line to get in wrapped around the front of the store, and wrapped around the outside of the mall. It would take me hours and hours to get in. But still fun

My brother, Mclayne, was lucky enough to be one of the first 500 people in line. He had been waiting since 8 that morning.

This is just the group that went with me to H&M. We took two pictures and Nate had his eyes closed in BOTH.

After watching the crazy crowd at H&M we decided to shop a little then go eat. Nate is going to be a pilot so he was determined to find a leather jacket and aviator sunglasses to go with it. I don't know why that makes you a pilot, but he was sure he needed those two items. After we shop a little we decided to treat ourselves to The Cheesecake Factory. While we were there, Nate and Zach decided to eat a slice of lemon at the same time. Zach loved it, but as you can see by Nate's face. He didn't like it so much.
Next, it was me and Hailey's turn. For those who know me, this is huge. I don't eat things that are healthy like this. Expecially sour lemons.
I basically threw up. Worst mistake ever.

Well after all that adventure, I basically went back to the apartment and played a little Super Smash Brothers with Zach until I left for home to get my car inspected and such. Then I fell asleep during a movie and missed the biggest moment of the day. Oh well, just shows how fast time goes by eh?

But pushing that aside, a month ago from yesterday was the day my cousin died. So just to honor his memory I wrote a little "spoken word" poem. And here it is:

I still remember the last day I saw you
Laying in the hospital bed, close to the end
My dad grabs your hand and slowly says
“I remember the day you came into this world
Now I’ll always remember the day you left”
I tried to understand, wrap my young mind around the scene
My aunt told me to hold his hand, his soul was now clean
I still don’t understand why God wanted you to leave
After the doctors cut off your life support that was helping you to breath
God had stolen your life away from us
Taken you to the highest points in the sky
So far up high,
I could reach but wouldn’t even try
The Sunday before my mom told me to fast
But I ignored the request
I figured it would past
And it’s not that I didn’t want to,
It’s just I couldn’t deal with the thought of you dying
I guess that’s why at the service I couldn’t stop crying
But now, 5 years later, all I can do is write
This poem is my way to say to you,
I’m sorry I didn’t want to visit you.
I know I was young then but
For years that was no excuse
I hope you forgive me
Let me tighten up the screws
Of my board that was waving in the storm of your memory
You couldn’t hide your pain behind your smile
And I guess your laughter wasn’t the best kind of medicine after all
Michael Kenneth Zoellner passed away
October 11th, 2006
And since then I’ve felt nothing but bricks
If my words could bring you back I’d never stop writing
And if you were in the audience I’d never stop reciting
Until the room was left empty and my tears would start drying
And it was just you and me.
You lived your life off wild and recklessly
But always smiling
Though you left a thousand lives untouched
Your presence will always live on
Through us.

Love and miss ya Michael! RIP

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Party in Provo

So a while back, we found this amazing park behind Wal Mart. The picture on the right is just an example of this amazing park. New photo expedition? I think yes!

So yesterday, my friend Nate was in a super great mood and decided that he wanted to treat us all to ice cream at a place called Sammy's. So we drive into a sketchy p
t of Provo and find it. I'm in love. The place has that... main street fee
l to it. So, of course I needed to take some pictures, despise my roommates disagreement. So me and my friend Emilee decided to take some pict

res, and this is what came up. (P.S so many pict
ures can be saved with a simple Black and White):

So the first picture is just me entertaining myself. I told my friend Emilee to take a picture of me doing something in the street that most peoplewon't when a car is coming. So I decided to "breakdance" the best I could while a car not to far off waited for me to be finished. Looks pro right?

So this is all of us inside the small ice cream spot, Sammy's. Except for my roommate who was taking the picture. From left to right: Nate, Me, Emilee, Zach, and Hailey. Just one big ol' happy family.
So basically, I have this specific pose that i've always wanted to do. So I tried to do it on my own, but everyone else wanted to join. So basically this is what i'm thinking for the pose but... not really. Different angle, different (painful) pose against a wall. Basically just the neck and head on the wall, then the chest to the knees straight, kne
es bent straight to the ground. With a sunset. I tried. But it was painful.
So this is just an example to the angle i'd like to
do the pose. But this isn't the right pose. Plus less of zach's butt :) But you get the picture.

P.S my legs KILLED! We took this pose picture of all of us 50 billion times. We sat against the wall for a good 20 mins, me trying to do that impossible pose puts super pressure on my thighs! Mmmm, i got thighs of thunder from it now though.

So basically, i'm in love with the place and want to go back for some more pics. We (as in the group) decided we want to all get ugly christmas sweaters and take "family" pictures in this area, or that park for christmas cards. I personally think it's simply brilliant.
What better to end the day of photos and the blog than with a little Emilee on a pole! Happy 11/11/11!